Don’t waste your time with “What did you do today?” The answer is nothing. It’s always nothing. Here are questions that might give you insight:

1. What was your favourite thing you did today?

2. Did anything make you happy today?

3. Did anything make you sad today?

4. Did anything make you angry today

5. Did you feel hungry at all today (this might help you plan breakfasts, snack, lunchbox portions)

6. How are the toilets? Are you okay to use them?

7. If still too scared to even go into the toilets: will you look at them tomorrow and tell me what you think tomorrow night?

8. Were you tired today?

9. Who did you play with or eat lunch with today?

10. What was the funniest thing that happened today?

You can probably add 100 more, but I’m a doctor, not a parenting expert. As a doctor, here is why those particular questions can help:

1 – 4: Anxiety, stress, and mental health: It may help your child to process talking about things that they found frustrating or sad.

5 Diet: Portion sizes can be tough. @safefood.net has great guides, but if your child is hungry at parts during the day, they may need more for breakfast or different breakfast choices that keep them feeling fuller, longer.

6 – 7 The toilet: Fear of using the school toilet is SUCH a huge problem, and leads to abdominal pain, constipation, urinary tract infections, anxiety. ERIC UK has great resources for this. This is one you really should ask about!

8 Sleep is a real problem. Many, many children get far less than they need for their age. If a child is consistently tired, you may need to move up bedtime, for example.

9 Social connections: are essential for health. Some children struggle more than others to make friends or may have issues with bullying.

10 Because that is really the good stuff. The joy. Why else do this parenting thing?