It’s the longest night of the year, and may seem even longer for those who are struggling with sleep. There are two groups of people that I want to highlight*:
Young children bouncing off the ceiling at bedtime because … it’s Christmas!!!!!
Adults who are quite the opposite. Despite being a joyous time of the year for many, it can be the hardest for many people. As I came home this evening through Dublin, many buildings were lit up green for tonight as a reminder that the Samaritan service is free, available, and anonymous. Earlier this week, I also listed a number of other supports that are available if you are struggling with anything from addicition to domestic abuse to depression to bereavement to parenting. If you are under stress, also consider Setting Boundaries.
What about the 5 year old still doing hand-stands in the bed at 10.30, despite being advised that his Elf is watching?
Child development means that different ages need different approaches, but here are some pearls and pitfalls that might help:
How much disruption to the routine has their been? Children love routine and the disruption of this, no matter how fun, can make it more difficult to fall asleep. Routines such as nap time, meal time, and bed time are disrupted this time of year. Everything – from food to pajamas – is “special” right now. For younger children, especially, try to keep some elements of their daily routine.
Have they gotten outside? Christmas coincides with the shortest day of the year, sports teams being on holidays and the busiest time in families- which means playing outside or going to the playground may get missed. All children – and teens! – need 60 minutes of physical activity a day. Even in winter, getting outside for a while each day helps with sleep – at any age!
Was dinner a selection box? No judgement. I mean, the sugar is everywhere –– but if the treat-to-actual food ratio has tipped to the point that Haribo is being counted as 1 of their 5-a-day, plan some meals that include much needed protein, veggies, and calcium. IT won’t surprise anyone that eating lots of highly processed, very salty or sugary or foods can make it harder to get good sleep.
For infants and younger toddlers, watch for signs of overstimulation. In this age, especially, there can be too much of a good thing. Don’t feel guilty if you need to take your child out of large family gatherings for some quiet time.
For 2-6 year olds especially this is all SO BIG! And the emotions are SO BIG. The excitement is overwhelming. It may be very, very difficult for them to calm themselves enough to sleep. Threats are often ineffective in this case since they have no idea how to calm themselves down when it’s so exciting. Everyday. Consider reviewing the usual bedtime routine to add some extra time for what you know calms them the most: stories, bath, rocking, singing. It will take extra time but 20 extra minutes of singing some quiet Christmas carols may get you back 2 hours otherwise spent chasing a child around the house.
For older children, is there an element of anxiety? Are they worried about Christmas? Children can have very deep concerns at Christmas, from hearing disturbing news or sad charity appeals, from overhearing family budget discussions, to being sad Baby Jesus is cold in a manger**, from worrying about the reality of all aspects of Christmas magic, to even being scared of the Elf. And I’m not judging on the latter because we have one, and he creeps me out. This can be a tricky one because many children can be slow to confide secret fears but it’s worth considering.
If sleep and sleep routine in the home have always been a bit chaotic (and this true for many of the patient families I work with) – Christmas is going to make everything worse. Bringing in a new healthy routine in the run up to Christmas will fail. I don’t want to be a pessimist, but let’s think of it as picking a battle you are likely to win. However, may be worth working on during the period between St. Stephen’s Day and return to school.
For more on general sleep, check out: Let’s Talk Sleep
*I could highlight mothers but, let’s be honest, you’re not sleeping because who else is tracking Amazon and Smyth’s deliveries, finding hidden presents, wrapping, card-writing, meal-planning, family mediating, costume-making… Santa’s magic needs a little help.
**This is a real story from a couple of years ago when I lived elsewhere. The church’s baby Jesus was a renaissance-style sculpted baby, and quite big, lying naked in the manger with only a loin cloth. Since the “Cold winter’s night that was so deep” was going to give baby a chill, the young child was upset that the baby was going to be cold. So, the mother found an old baby-gro t-shirt and together they left it at the altar so Mary could put it on the baby if he was cold. At first, I thought it was some unique local custom, but no, it was just that. And no one moved that all Christmas season.
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